We walk alone
by zeroseconds
Summary: A scope of fragmented pieces over time. All you need to know is that we met in 1998; the anniversary came ten years later. Compilation of drabbles including Naru/Mai. Prequel to Melting Away by Agwen.


**Foreword:  
**These excerpts were supposed to come from a multiple chapter story with various points of views, but as it has been discontinued I threw them in the 'piece of trash' folder. However, in order to create the next story I pulled out the trash and dug in to see anything salvageable for a good in between. So please don't kill me if it's not anything like crazy crack before, this is an incredibly mundane and rehashed material and I wrote most of this about one year ago.

This is likely _the only true Naru/Mai story_ you'll get from me that isn't produced by crack or manipulative minds, but somewhat serious (!) romance. See it as a bunch of connected drabbles compiled in one chapter. I've given each an appropriate title.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own. I only play around with the characters.

* * *

**We walk alone**

A scope of fragmented pieces over time.

All you need to know is that we met in 1998; the anniversary came ten years later.

* * *

(Better Off Alone - September, 2002)

The end of August still had been incredibly warm. Even while the summer heat could barely make it past September, the heated tension in my room hadn't broken yet. The past few weeks I wondered why this made it into my pastime. Why I just can… I just cannot do anything but unload.

It should have become easier, but it didn't.

With ease she settled the fifth time this month within the sheets of the bed. I chose the cold and quietly returned to the living room. The sofa was a second bed. I fell asleep without a thought.

* * *

(Grey – September 2002)

There was no trace of intimacy found in the restaurant. It had been quiet than usual and Naru was visibly worried about something, even though it was his 21st birthday.

Between the birthday of last year and today a lot had happened. The SPR had slowly fallen apart and I had no idea how it happened. Lin had left to the UK earlier this year, however I hadn't heard of him ever since that day. The others walked in once in a while, but even that had become a rarity.

The summer was only ours, but it wouldn't last long anymore.

* * *

(Let go – September 2002)

The home I returned to was filled with emptiness. The email was the deciding factor in the choice I made. The letter from one year ago was the push to go through. Just four months to go and this building were to be decimated to the ground. I would have to go back, unless I found an alternative. I didn't have one, so I had to go.

The doll that looked like me, adorned with faulty hair, glanced back. I often wondered whether it was her purpose was indeed to give me such a depressing birthday present. I only needed to give it the same voice and it would have been perfect.

The mirror shows no sign of movement. My face is as white and expressionless as it could be.

I close my eyes and finalized it with a thought to somebody else.

'_Just like a coffin.'_

* * *

(Irreplaceable - January, 2003)

Four months were over. An unexpected visitor came. Is she honestly irreplaceable?

* * *

(Crystalline – January, 2003)

The four months were over.

"I began to get used to the fact that you were gone," she told him after opening the door.

He heaved a sigh. Several moments ago he had been looking for a goodbye gift.

"…you too."

Then he noticed her tears welling up in her eyes.

"Idiot! Idiot! Why are you here, you're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?!" Mai dramatically pounded her hands on his chest and he was completely petrified as she did this, "is this why you always left so quickly? Do we walk alone, because you wouldn't ever believe you were coming back?!"

After the third hit he shook his head, grabbed her hands and put them at her sides. His fingers shortly interweaved in hers.

"We're mailing," he told her before closing the door behind him, and then left. Not to be seen again in a few years.

* * *

(In Your Hands – January, 2003)

When Mai realized his fingers had left something on hers, she could barely comprehend the situation.

Years passed by.

Not without changes.

* * *

(Skeletons in the closet – March, 2007)

I earned my degree at last. I know my parents would be proud of me! I threw a party. Almost everyone was there…. Bou-san wasn't at the party, but he was so ecstatic to hear this. Everyone was well, but busy as usual. To my surprise one couple had been formed from our old group, unfortunately it does not include me, but I'm very happy for them.

Surprisingly, there was no reply from Ayako. Did she change her phone number? I haven't heard from her in a while!

John came out very good looking through the years. He lost his baby face, but he still is a bit short. I heard that girls often tell him it's almost a shame he is a priest, but he just laughed back and jokingly told them the same thing. I had to grin.

However, Naru sent me a short text message of congratulations after I texted him about this. Hooray. Now allow me to throw sharp and pointy objects at him.

I'm really tired of my job. I should look for something else now.

* * *

(Breaking the ice – December, 2007)

Yasuhara had become a professor assistant at the University of Kanazawa. There he met two peculiar students who regularly caused trouble on the campus grounds. However, they greatly resembled someone he knew and clued Mai into a vacant spot in the counselor's team.

An excerpt from Mai's reply to his email:

"Thank you so much! You're really lucky you know! He never calls, and when I call it costs me a ton. I don't have that much money to spend on calls abroad! And when I do it's always an awkward one-way conversation. Can you imagine? He's so difficult! I mailed him once, but he insisted in English that if I mail him I should do so in that freaking language, because he still doesn't want to figure out the stupid kanji! Gah! Is he lazy or what? So thank you, thank you for helping me out. I could never convince him to come here and meet everyone for something trivial in his eyes. I'm sure you can do it!

Anyway, I think I'm interested, and yeah, I quit my job the other day. It's a little difficult now. Don't tell this to anyone, but playing a normal secretary is so boring. I was thinking of getting a different job, now that I've graduated from college. I'm sorry for bothering you like this; this email must sound really stupid and selfish to you. I'll call you on Saturday if that's fine?"

Mai moved to Kanazawa, when she was accepted for the job.

In February, a 26 year old Naru made a return to Japan, and visits Kanazawa 'to learn of the two trouble makers.

* * *

(Of the same blood – January, 2008)

Yesterday was just embarrassing. It was my first day at Kanazawa University and I was given a tour by one of the teachers here in the afternoon; she was a nice lady in her forties. I can just imagine Yasuhara-san's amusement after this story gets out.

"Asami! My classes are done for."

"Great, let's get a ball from the gym and play on the field there."

"Hey, Iwashita, you coming?"

"Nope, Maedera called me to the lab again."

"Again?! You don't even do physics..."

"Dunno why! She forced me to join that club," a black haired young man said, grimacing as he passed me by.

"Eh? N-Naru?!" I shrieked.

The three young men stopped dead in their tracks and turned around for a moment, but I only stared at the one who tailed the group. He seemed slightly annoyed, but soon his eyes twitched into a surprised expression.

"...Taniyama-san. Is there something the matter?" The teacher asked.

"Uh uh. It's nothing!" I said quickly before turning around and following her.

"...was she talking to you?"

"No way man, she was looking at you."

How embarrassing! I mistook one of the students for Naru, but it wasn't him. Is that the person whom Yasuhara-san been talking about? I suppose they could pass as brothers…

I really do miss that idiot.

* * *

(Interrogation – January, 2008)

Today I had tons of people asking for advice and counseling. To top it off I had to help a girl who got caught up in a love triangle with two guys. Just great. I headed to the library for some comfort and peace. Undoubtedly nobody would be in the paranormal category, but I was proven wrong by the voices coming from there.

"A second year? He looks very young."

Yasuhara-san?

"Yes, he's seventeen. He skipped some grades you see."

"That's a smart boy."

"Somewhat."

There was a slight pause.

"I heard he caused some trouble."

"He does that a lot," came the fast reply, "Like, getting me in trouble."

"Really."

"Yes, he got caught smoking a cigarette in our room, and then everyone assumed it was me who gave him the bad habit"

"I see, and I also heard about the former counselor..."

"...Is this a background check?" The other interrupted.

Yasuhara-san didn't reply immediately, but he laughed out loud, "...who knows~ I admit I'm curious about him. People used to ask me exactly the same thing," he answered.

"I heard you're friends with the new counselor," he countered.

"Yes, she's the one to counsel Iwashita-kun. She was a former colleague."

"I certainly hope she can handle him."

"Oh I'm sure she's capable!"

"Sensei, I actually heard from my cousin she seemed not have much of a good reaction when she saw him."

"Ah, I see."

"Do you know my cousin from somewhere?"

"No, no, it's not like that. Just that... You look similar to someone we knew, Iwashita-kun more so than you," he explained with a sad tone.

"..oh. Sorry about that."

"Why do you apologize?"

"I meant, I understand. That explains your odd reactions," the boy nervously answered, "...especially if we resembled that deceased person."

"Oh, please don't misunderstand me! It's just that he went overseas years ago."

"Oh okay, I thought he was dead or something," he seemed slightly confused.

"Well..."

"..."

"Never mind," Yasuhara-san recovered quickly, and smiled a little, "I'm not so sure about my friend though."

"I see. What kind of person was he to you?"

"He is my former boss."

"Really?" he sounded very surprised, "How long did you work together?"

"Hmm, about four years. She'd worked a little longer there than me though."

"What sort of work was it?"

My turn to show up!

"Ah..." Yasuhara-san seemed a bit hesitant, but then I caught his attention, "Taniyama-san!"

"Yasuhara-san, so that's where you were. Ah, sorry did I disturb you?"

He gave the boy a knowing glance. When he turned I paused to look at him, my eyes widened in surprise.

"No not at all," he replied, smiling brightly, as he noted her looking at me, "This is Kirihara Shougo-kun, one of my students."

I quickly recovered, smiling brightly.

"Nice to meet you!"

"Likewise, Taniyama-sensei," he bowed.

"Kirihara-kun would be the cousin of Iwashita Jun-kun, whom we talked about earlier."

"I see."

"I hope he won't be much of a trouble to you, sensei," he said, forcing a little smile.

"Oh don't worry about it," Yasuhara-san added, somewhat delighted, "She's handled much worse."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I must be going now," the boy said as he looked at his watch, pretending not to have heard his claim, "I have some things to take care of."

"Ah, Kirihara-kun. The book, don't forget it," he pointed at the table. The look on his face screamed 'I know something you don't'.

"Thank you. Have a good evening."

My eyes squinted a bit as I read the front of it, and then turned to my colleague to glare.

"Yasuhara-saaan."

He plastered a smile on his face, while he walked away.

* * *

(Girl magnets – February, 2008)

One of the trouble makers, you could say the only trouble maker, of this school had been made one of the students I had to counsel. As far as I could tell nobody else wanted him. The person I'm talking about is indeed Kirihara's cousin, Iwashita. As the youngest second year, he majored in several languages. When it came to his grades, Iwashita easily belonged to one of the top students. He had no need to spend his time to spend on language study. The teachers I spoke to said that even though he was a difficult person, to put it mildly, he was an excellent student. Beside his native Japanese he already spoke French, English and Korean fluently.

However he spent his time troubling other students and keeping them off their work, including Kirihara himself. Of course his relative knew better than staying involved with him all the time, but as the 'older brother' there was also the responsibility to watch over the boy.

The lack of Iwashita's sense of responsibilities became a major problem for those around them. Why he did all of that? Well, because he was bored. He was tossed around clubs so quickly it was almost a record. The longest he remained in a club had been biology of all things. Simply due to his attachment to the turtle in the back of the clubroom, which he eventually adopted.

When Iwashita spoke to me about the book he was given, I was stumped that he already knew all about who the author was.

His brother.

Weeks passed and I felt that I didn't know him any better. Iwashita was extremely spontaneous and likeable to other students, but no matter how much I tried, he never opened up. I couldn't tell whether he was a hot or cold person.

Our weekly meetings eventually evolved in daily meetings as I started a ghost hunter's club. Yasuhara-san helped me and so did Kirihara and Iwashita to some extent. We needed something to do after all, right?

Ghost hunting. I quietly laughed to myself in my office. It had to be nostalgia. Nothing else.

There was a knock on the door.

"Taniyama-sensei, it's me."

"Come in!"

Kirihara's head showed up in the doorway.

"There's someone you need to see. Come with me."

I left my table and went along, wondering what was going on. The halls were decidedly empty as I tailed the boys to the university's entrance side. At this time of the day, girls would stand outside chatting after classes of social studies, but they were nowhere to be seen except some male students hanging around.

"What's going on, Kirihara-kun?"

"You'll see soon enough."

We arrived near a crowd of mainly girls, and all of them were chatting and giggling at some scene. There was one which I recognized as the neighboring physics club leader.

"Maedera-san?" I called out.

"Taniyama-sensei, look! Some really good looking guys are over there," she waved at me to come and I raised an eyebrow, before looking at the boy next to me. He was idly looking at something in front of the crowd. I walked over to Maedera, and went to stand on my toes. Due to my height I could barely see something. Apparently there were a couple of men quite a safe distance away from the mob.

"The blond is so cute!"

"Oh my God, the other one is really hot. Is he a new idol?"

"Is that Yasuhara-sensei talking to them?"

The first thing I saw was indeed a flash of blonde and some black spots above the other's heads.

Maedera gave me a rough push through the crowd, which resulted into several squeals from the girls.

"Hey, watch out!"

In my case I had front rows and dropped my jaw at the scene.

Oh dear God. It couldn't be. Yasuhara-san, John-san, and….

"Na-NARU?!" I cried out. My shrilly voice stood out.

Suddenly all eyes were on me. The crowd fell completely silent. The first thing my thoughts were raging about when Naru and me locked our eyes on each other, was merely _'Why the hell wasn't I informed of this?!'_ The moment was lost when I noticed Iwashita walking to the other men out of the corner of my eye, with Yasuhara-san quickly catching up to accompany him. Of course Naru had noticed him and headed to the other boy. The two of them stared at one another for a short tense moment.

I was expecting them to bow in greeting, but instead they shook hands.

* * *

(Intrusion – February, 2008)

I had meant to spend my precious time with a bowl of crisps and chocolate in front of the television, but it was the night that would change our future.

"I'm not opening the door."

"Why not?" The unexpected visitor asked.

"I haven't changed yet."

There was a sigh at the other end. I could feel his irritation radiate through the wood.

"Okay, wait here, it will take a few minutes."

"No. Let me in first," he insisted.

"What. Why?"

"Because it's freezing out here."

Every syllable was dressed in a frosty layer of ice, draping over me with an impending doom of hypothermia.

Horrified I clung to the door handle and opened it. Keep in mind I was only wearing a short blue nightdress and to prance around like this in front of an attractive man was not my most ideal idea... even if it was Naru who couldn't care less about what I was wearing now. By now I'm pretty sure he doesn't care, unless he managed to turn into a pervert over all these years I missed seeing him.

The last idea had been proven wrong as Naru waltzed in, looking down at my face without batting an eyelash. I shivered, not of the cold wave of air intruding my terribly small apartment, but of not so subtle dark irritation visible in his eyes. That stick in the mud.

"Hurry up. I'll give you five minutes. The taxi is waiting."

I fled into my room and changed quickly, quietly cursing, wondering whatever he planned to do.

* * *

(Spoonfed – February, 2008)

We arrived at eight pm in Tokyo and went to have dinner in Shinjuku. Naru had expected it to be in the same place the two of us usually went to before, but it turned out to have shut down so we had to look for something else.

Around the corner there was restaurant, which was fancy enough to have me panic about the prices, but Naru glared at me and forced me to get whatever I liked. It was his way of saying to not worry about it. He was completely different from my other attempted dates during the five years he went abroad to earn a doctorate degree.

I never told him about those of course.

I had attempted to discuss his brother, the other one, over dinner, but his existence had been diligently ignored as he ate his food quietly. I was mildly surprised since Iwashita was the reason he returned, or so I thought. Then I chatted about how and how intelligent and talented his biological family appeared. Naru took it in stride, because not being unique didn't seem to flatter him.

* * *

(Overnight – February, 2008)

I should have been asking questions like... Why did he take me to this place all of sudden? I stared at his silhouette in front of the tall windows outlining Tokyo's skyline, darkness wrapping around him and the high rises.

"Beautiful."

He looked back at me with those dark blue eyes and I couldn't help but feel nervous again. The empty and spacious room didn't do anything to comfort me. I couldn't lean to anything. There were no chairs, no tables and no closets. Yet the room was full with his presence.

"But... why are you showing me this?"

"You're going to work for me again."

I widened my eyes and gripped the edge of my jacket. What did he just say?

"What?"

"As an investigator for SPR and the one in charge of the data records room for the time being."

I could barely breathe right here. No wonder he came back, this was really...

"How- Where's Lin-san? And... I already have a job!"

"I haven't heard of that man in years," an irritable Naru told me, which made me raise an eyebrow, "You'll quit that job."

"Wha-... you can't decide for me!"

He shrugged and I sighed.

"So... is this the new office?"

This time it was Naru's turn to sigh.

"Downstairs is the office."

I remember the floor right under us. It was big, perhaps twice as bigger than the former.

"...and this is...?"

"Living quarters. Commuting will be a non-issue."

"...really, how handy..."

I looked around for a moment. There was a hallway leading to several chambers and the living room and kitchen were connected together. Big enough for at least five people I'd say. I didn't realize that Naru had come to stand in front of me until I accidentally bumped my nose into his chest. How embarrassing...

"Mai," he said, staring down at me.

"What?"

"You're going to live here."

My mind is trying to connect the dots to each other that aren't there. Am... I hearing this right?

"What?"

"Like I said, you're going to live here," Naru repeated, increasingly irritated.

I'm sure we ended up sounding like a broken record here. Our communication is oh so flawless. I stared at him with big eyes, not comprehending what he tried to say to me. It should rather be what I tried to hear.

"Why..." My eyes flicked around for a moment, "It's too big just for me!"

This time he walked away from me. Did I hear another sigh?

"No Mai, we're going to live in here."

The first part of the sentence was so overwhelming to take in that I forgot about my composure.

"…excuse me?"

"Yes, nobody else," he confirmed my suspicions, and rubbing it in like salt in a wound. If I hadn't assumed my current state of panic I would probably have noticed the smirk he was trying not to make.

"Ah-"

I couldn't get any redder than I've ever been before. My mind? It was like this:

This number is engaged. Try again later?

"WHAT?" I exploded several thoughtless seconds later.

"Yes."

What yes? What what what what-!

"Hello?! Why would I want to?"

"It's easier for you to get to work on time this way," Naru replied quickly.

Workaholic. He's right though, to commute from my current place to this office would take up too much time. Not to mention my reputation for being late.

"Oh..."

He slightly winced at my apparent lack of disinterest. Did he actually expect me to be ecstatic at his proposal?

"I'll pay the rent."

That, unfortunately for me, got me all ears now. I shouldn't have underestimated the tricks up his sleeve to draw me in, but now taking up the proposal sounded like music in my ears.

"Not from my salary right?"

Naru looked a little surprised at my question and finally smirked to himself. Yes, I've gotten a little smarter! To my own surprise he nodded. Ack. This is absolutely great... not.

"Mai, if you're smart enough you should take up my offer."

I kept my mouth shut. This is outrageous. Really, if I'm going to live with him, all my chances of getting a normal life and family will go down the drain. See if anyone takes a girl who's been living with a guy like that. A handsome, intelligent and arrogant person who will be paying my rent, salary... everything? Nobody can or would be willing to compete.

"No," I decided on spot, and put my hands on my hips.

"Why not?" Naru did not seem impressed with my stance.

"Because..."

He waited for my answer, surprisingly patient, but his face impassive as usual.

"...because I have a future to think of!"

"A future?" he snorted.

"Yes, I do have one you see."

(I hope.)

What was he just thinking of?! I was too angry at his answer to notice how he cupped his chin in his fingers.

"What kind of future?" he asked.

I straightened my back instantly.

"Real people things. Having a job, a nice husband, many friends, and a loving family. Things that do not require research. Unlike you, I don't want to be alone when I die."

Still he did not seem impressed or interested at all. Yet he continued to ask.

"Are those the things you want?"

I nodded vigorously (almost hoping he'd get the hint).

"What makes you believe you won't get those... things if you take this job?"

Damn it Naru! I really want the job, but that's not the problem. Stupid stupid stupid.

"Mai."

I looked away at his call.

"You."

He widened his eyes slightly at this message in surprise, and then reverted back to his stoic face.

"I see," he quietly said, "If that's what you want... you don't have to live here."

I sighed. Finally he realized, but I don't feel relieved at all. In truth I want to break down and cry, but I settled with kneeling down on the floor instead. All the while it still feels like I was outside his heart, attempting to scratch open its steel door with my fingernails. It felt hopeless.

"I... you really want me for this job, don't you?"

I heard him sigh again.

"Of course, you've been extremely valuable, however... I..."

At this I looked up at him, but he never faced me. He never managed to finish his sentence.

"Naru, what is it that you want?"

He shook his head at my question. Nothing? This conversation is going nowhere and it would seem he realized the same. I stood up and walked over to the door.

"If that's all you wanted say, then I'll go home."

"One more thing."

I did not like the smug tone of his voice, it always came up whenever he had a grand solution to a case or whenever he was about to say something brilliant. Despite this premonition I looked back nervously.

"You still have that engagement ring, haven't you?"

He smirked at me and I gulped, staring at that damn thing on my finger.

Engagement ring.

"Shall we walk together?" he proposed, as he opened the door for me.

I said yes, but the walk didn't last long.

**The end**

* * *

The story continues in 'Melting Away' (Ondokeiji series) written under the penname Agwen.


End file.
